stretched

Holy cow...I don't understand how skin stretches out this far. Today I was walking back to my classroom after dropping the kids off at their buses and I felt like my stomach was going to rip off. It was so uncomfortable feeling. Once I sat down in my classroom with my feet up for a few minutes I felt better. I still have 3 months to go (@ 27 weeks now)! How much further is my poor tummy skin going to stretch?!
Not only is my tummy stretching....my thighs are expanding, my once waist is now "muffin top-esq." I am being a big wimp about the weight gain and body changes. I can handle my tummy bump getting bigger (self-esteem wise) but when the rest of my body begins to change I am not so happy.

ANYWAYS!
It has been quite awhile since I have posted, sorry about that. Now that the weather is warming up I have been spending more time outside and doing things around the house. I seem to be much more motivated to clean and organize when I can have the windows open. I have spent the last 2 weekends outside planting flowers. I think that is how I am "nesting" since I don't have a nursery to be prepping. I am much more motivated this spring when it comes to gardening and concerned about checking the soil everyday.

A week ago J and I met with 8 different people at the hospital I'll be delivering at. Our OB was instrumental in setting up the big meeting. In the end our OB couldn't be there, he got pulled in the OR, oh well. The rest of us went piece by piece through a birth plan. I don't know what I thought was going to happen but I didn't go into that meeting mentally prepared for talking about a birth plan and all that those entail. There were 2 woman from the Haven Network (prenatal hospice), 1 OB that our OB highly respects, 1 neonatal nurse, 1 highly respected nurse from the labor and delivery floor, and 3 admins from the labor and delivery floor. We talked through every little detail. Somethings were easy to decide if we wanted to or not, others we will work through it in the coming months. The conversation went from what kinds of things do we want in our L and D room like books, movies and computers to do we want Ellie to be intabated (spelling?).


*Warning* tearjerker ahead!! If you don't feel like being sad or re-doing your make-up don't read the following paragraph.

The hardest thing we've done lately is drive by the cemetery. We drove in and found the family members that Ellie would be laid near. It was incredibly hard and surreal. It didn't really sink in what we were doing until we sat in front of the exact spot. I continue to remind myself something that my aunt once told me, that's not where Ellie will be, she will be in Heaven. That is very comforting to me. Even with Ellie going to Heaven it is still not where I want her, I want her at our home, alive with us. I know she will be healed in Heaven and happy.

On a happy note I only have 19.5 school days left!! My school doesn't have air-conditioning! It got really warm twice last week and my feet swelled for the first time. It was quite depressing and not comfortable at all. So I am hoping the really warm weather can wait until June 7th. Well actually lets say June 12th or so, then I can get my classroom cleaned up and ready for summer/next fall.


Here is little miss Stella keeping me company while blogging, she is laying on my legs.